wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
