You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I am mentally ready for anal.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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