id be glad to
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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