i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
