kristin has been a bad kristin
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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