I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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