you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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