she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
