i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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