i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
