Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
zippers are such a cool invention
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
