Soap is not a condiment
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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