She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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