Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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