We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
