did you get engaged???
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
