if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
