Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
