help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Also, beer. Big fan.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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