If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
