Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
