he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
