I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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