god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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