Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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