hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
