I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
