We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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