I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
