i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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