I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
