people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
