we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
