shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just forgot I was standing up.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
