he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
