i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
