And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
