Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
