you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
