i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
