I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
even my farts smell like vagina
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
