I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sorry my hands just texted you
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
