a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
its not stalking. its research.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
