we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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