Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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