Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
