I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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