Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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