One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
