Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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