At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i was born a porn star she said
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
