I got chris browned last night
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
