no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
