Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
