i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
