Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
